Some Good News

My Grandma Niebur passed away from breast cancer when I was just 3 and a half years old. It amazes me because even being so young, I have such vivid memories of her. I can only assume this is because she was such a remarkable woman. She made an imprint on my life at only 3 years old. Her style, her kindness, and gentleness are just a few things that I remember and can still feel.

This past Friday was a big day for me. After being so discouraged the previous week that I didn’t receive my treatment, this Friday I was bound and determined to make those white blood cells come up! While I felt I had no control over bringing my counts up, I was told a story that may have changed it all! My aunt Connie shared a story with me about my Grandma Niebur. She said that her white blood cell counts would get low and she too would get discouraged. Grandma had told Connie that before her treatment, she would lie down, close her eyes, and invision little white soldiers marching through her veins! While this may not be scientific, she would find that mind of matter would bring her counts up. So, you can only imagine what I did before my treatment…. I closed my eyes, and then yes, I imagined little white soldiers marching through my veins. And just like that, my white counts were up!  Mind over matter indeed! 

This past week wasn’t just a good appointment because of receiving the treatment. My doctor also gave me some great news when doing my breast exam. She could tell my tumor had gone down significantly! While we still have a long journey and so many uncertainties, but this was a day worth celebrating. Thank you for your prayers!

I have so many marigolds this week. But the one that keeps pushing its way to the surface is my Grandma Niebur. I think back to the first days of finding out I have cancer and through every step, she has been here. She has been there with me in conversations with my dad and my aunts. She has been sitting alongside me in my doctor visits and when I have been rocking my babies to sleep. She is constantly on my mind. Even though I only knew her for 3 years, she somehow has become more than a memory to me. I have learned more from her through the stories the past few months than I ever thought I would. I have been given an opportunity to understand what my grandma went through and in a way, get to know her better. Our lives have become more parallel, all these years later. She had gone through this, and now she is guiding me. What a blessing to reunite with someone you only wish you had had more time with.