In My House, We Dance

In my house we dance.  We dance when we are cleaning, we dance when we are playing, but mostly we dance when we hear a song that really moves us. You can’t keep our family still. Often times you will even catch Joe dancing alongside me and the boys. When we dance we forget our worries, we change our mood, and we feel free, for the length of that special song.

This week was a challenging week for me. No bad news, no extra side effects, but emotionally, mentally, it’s been hard. The effects have been lingering a bit longer, and the exhaustion has been challenging when it comes to keeping up with my three sweet babies. Anyone who knows me, knows it’s hard to keep me away from my kids. I have days now that just being physically up and present for them is hard. So, yes, the exhaustion has brought my spirits down. 

This week, as I sat on the couch and watched my children play, instead of playing alongside them, I could feel my eyes swell with tears. I feel like I am missing out on them as they grow this year.  Especially Edwin. He is already 4 months old! Am I missing his milestones? It’s one of those times where I just say This Sucks! I am 37 years old. I feel like I am missing out not only on my children, but also my youth!  I should be having wine with my girl friends, going on dates with my husband, and playing with my children. Instead, this past week, I have been too tired to do much of anything. I know, this too will pass, but this week has gotten the best of me…well, until last night.

Last night I was sitting in the living room listening to music with the boys when what comes on the radio….the song that always brings Joe and me to our feet. The song that makes me pick up my boys, spin them around, sing, and DANCE. Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show was playing, and playing just for us!  We sang, we danced, we laughed, and we forgot about everything for the length of that song! Goodness, it feels good to smile. 

My Marigold this week, is the perfect song to make my family dance. The song that floods my mind with memories of when Joe and I first started dating, and the song that makes me get on my feet, pick up my babies, and dance around the living room!  Music is a powerful thing. That song brought me to my feet again last night. I am ready for another day of Chemo, another set of side effects, and another day to fight, so I can have many, many days in the future to dance with my family.

***Tomorrow is my 8th day of chemo! I will be envisioning little white soldiers marching through my veins and praying for my white blood cell count to be up! If I get my treatment, that will mark the halfway point for chemo this round.