My Dad

There are certain moments in your life that shake you to the core.  So much so that you remember every detail of that moment. Where you were, what you were doing, and what you were wearing. That feeling never goes away. These moments usually happen when you least expect it. And now, everytime you see a photo, smell a smell, or hear a song that one moment that crept into your life without warning will never go away. Instead, it will haunt your thoughts from here on out.  

I have had a few of these moments within this past year. My soul is shaken up and I am not sure it will ever straighten back out. My most recent moment is receiving a phone call from my parents that my dad has stage IV lung cancer. My world stopped just as it had when I had received my own news like this months ago. How can our family go through this again? The thoughts that immediately go through my mind are more medical then I would have thought. Most likely because now I am filled with knowledge from my own cancer journey. After I move on from the medical terms and road map, my heart begins to sink. I would take another round of chemo just so that he doesn’t have to endure the pain that I have. I know that he felt the same about me as well. Heck, he even joked that his prayers had been answered when he had been praying that God would take my cancer away and give it to him.  This is just the kind of dad he is. ..faithful, positive, insightful, full of stories, and most importantly, full of humor. He treats life as a gift. Everyone who knows him, knows that. He has a contagious smile that lifts your spirits the minute you are with him. Man, I love this guy.

We are a close family, so when one of us falls, we all pitch in to hold that person up. Right now, we are all holding on tight to one another. How can one family go through so much suffering in one year? Just when we were feeling like celebrating.  

I have been reflecting a lot on suffering. What suffering looks like and why some suffer more than others. This…this is real suffering. And we need to find a way to overcome it. The only way to pull yourself out of this suffering is through prayer and family. Two things that I believe our family has mastered. So, while our hearts have been broken once again, we pray as hard as we can and trust that God will carry us through, knowing that when we are too tired to keep going, He will carry us. We can and will do this. After all, you don’t truly know what peace is until you have gone through suffering.

My Marigold is that through my own cancer journey, my family has learned how to fight. We have seen, and faced, pain before and we are ready to walk my dad through it. We are stronger, more in tune with one another, and most importantly, braver than a family could ever be. We will get my dad through this and when we do, he will walk with us, hand in hand, because that is what cancer gives you….strength. Strength through your deepest suffering and greatest pain. You all have been prayer warriors for me, and now it is time to spread those prayers to my dad. Papa Joe is one of those men who brightens the room when he walks into it,  he has words of wisdom when you need it, and only knows kindness. He is loved. Please pray for him and my family during this time.